“To be western is to be promiscuous.”
Blue eyes and light colored hair is enough to set me apart among the crowds. It doesn’t really matter what I do or don’t do, but often that’s an immediate assumption made about me. But no one has given them a reason to believe otherwise…
By nature I am quite reserved. Not overly expressive or charismatic – it takes me a while to warm up to people in general. I was making good progress breaking out of that mold while I was in Central America. I was surrounded by a culture that was warm and inviting. We were always greeted with warm smiles and a friendly “Buenas!” regardless of who we were talking to, and I became accustomed to responding in kind.
We had been in Turkey for about a week before we were able to sit down for some cultural training. What I learned was shocking. The cultural boundaries for men and women are much more dramatic than I ever imagined. Something as simple as making direct eye contact is communicating an invitation for more that I wanted. I was mortified… My mind was racing with thoughts of all of the men in the street that I smiled at as we walked past. I replayed all of the conversations that I initiated. I started second guessing all of the friendly encounters, where they approached me……
The expectation is that I have loose morals and am looking for a good time, until I give them a reason to believe otherwise. I am not going to lie… making our way home that night after dark was uncomfortable. It was hard to fall asleep that night, and still occupying my thoughts the next morning. I don’t think I have experienced culture shock to this extent before. Being an all girls team, we were all feeling it. It took a while before I could walk down the street without my eyes glued to the pavement in front of me or wouldn’t psycho-analyze every conversation.
Ankara the capitol of Turkey and is a University town; it has much more of a progressive feel than Istanbul did. That being said, I feel less out of place here, but still don’t exactly fit in. As I’ve had time to think and reflect, here are some of the conclusions I’ve come to:
1. I am realizing that cultural assimilation is important, but not imperative. I will never fit in here, for a number of reasons – no matter how hard I try. But it reminds me of the phrase,”In the world, but not of it…” I am a stranger, an alien here on earth. I’m not supposed to belong.
2. Women need to hear the good news as much as men. The easiest solution in this cultural context is to focus our attention on the women. But where are the women?? The ratio of men:women we meet in the streets is easily 5:1. But once I was looking for them, they weren’t that hard to find. I just needed eyes to see.
3. JC also endured false accusations with grace and humility and I have the chance to live in the same way. I have the opportunity to change their minds, to correct their misconceptions. About “Americans”, about “Christians”… I get to be different. I don’t have to live under the weight of what they think, I get to prove them wrong!
4. Turkish Culture is rich and vibrant. I cannot allow these things to taint the beauty of this country and these people. Turkish are kind, friendly and hospitable. They are often willing to talk openly about religion and culture, and eager to share pieces of their life and heritage with us. There is so much to love about life here!
Our time in Turkey has been fruitful, despite the challenges! People are hearing the good news of JC for the first time. Pr*y for continued opportunities to share truth and hope and love found only in the death of G0d’s son, and the power and victory in his resurrection!
